1
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:24,158
(Traffic noise)

2
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:27,327
(Honking)

3
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,931
(Honking)

4
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,099
JAY:<i> Dear Matt.</i>

5
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,668
<i>I’m leaving the band.</i>

6
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:41,208
<i>As you know, I’ve been watching
</i><i>the hit ABC series Lost,</i>

7
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,743
<i>and it’s taught me something.</i>

8
00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:47,514
<i>Everybody has a destiny.</i>

9
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,787
<i>I used to think that my destiny
</i><i>was to play a show with you</i>

10
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:57,957
<i>at the Rivoli, but lately...</i>

11
00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:01,094
<i>I’m not so sure.</i>

12
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:04,198
<i>I mean, look at
what’s happening, Matt.</i>

13
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,766
<i>Every time we try to get a show</i>

14
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,468
<i>something goes wrong
at the last second.</i>

15
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,838
<i>It can’t all be
happening by accident.</i>

16
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:20,247
(Subway roaring)

17
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,950
<i>And I’m not talking
about a sign from God.</i>

18
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,453
<i>I’m talking about a
sign from Jesus Christ.</i>

19
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,090
(Subway dinging)

20
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:33,793
(Intercom chattering)

21
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,664
<i>I know all of this
sounds crazy...</i>

22
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,936
<i>but Matt, you’re too optimistic</i>

23
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:47,074
<i>You don’t see the
world the way I do.</i>

24
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:52,045
<i>I don’t know, if
you watched Lost...</i>

25
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,914
<i>you’d understand.</i>

26
00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,387
<i>I’m sorry for bringing
this up on Canada Day.</i>

27
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:03,890
<i>Your friend, Jay.</i>

28
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:08,228
♪

29
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:11,364
Hello.

30
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:13,967
Yeah, table for two.

31
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:22,809
(Chattering)

32
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,311
Just the table just right here.

33
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,046
Have a seat, please.

34
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,683
Yeah, this is fine,
this is great.

35
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,920
(Sighing)

36
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:47,768
(Chattering)

37
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,137
(Sighing)

38
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,572
HOSTESS: Welcome to Mandarin!

39
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,907
MATT: Hi, I’m meeting my friend.

40
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,242
- Okay, right there.
- Thank you.

41
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,843
Jay!

42
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,212
Hey!

43
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,546
Jay Jay!

44
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,748
(Laughing)
Sorry I’m late.

45
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,118
- Happy Canada Day.
- Happy Canada Day.

46
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,952
You know what?

47
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:10,724
I was about 25 blocks away
watching Autumn Sonata.

48
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:15,595
There’s this incredible line
where Ingrid Bergman says,

49
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,765
"I could always live in my
art, but never in my life."

50
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:19,833
Hi, how are you?

51
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,201
Happy Canada Day!

52
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,503
Thank you so much.

53
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,571
Thank you, thank you.

54
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,874
I bawled for 25 blocks.

55
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,542
- I just cried.
- Yeah.

56
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:30,010
Can you imagine
a thing like that?

57
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,478
Yeah.
(Chuckling)

58
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,046
That’s fun.

59
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,583
Uh, no, actually, what I wanted
to do is I wanted to talk to you

60
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:39,252
and get you sort
of like... um...

61
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,789
You’re acting quite
bizarre, can I just say?

62
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,390
- Yeah.
- Is it Canada Day?

63
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,925
The stress has gotten to you?

64
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,092
Little bit.

65
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,461
Okay, sure, what do you want?

66
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,932
Well, I wanted to
read you this letter.

67
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,200
This is a letter for me?

68
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,770
Yeah, and I’m gonna
read it out loud to you.

69
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:57,837
You know what?
I’ll tell you what.

70
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,406
Let’s get a plate of food,

71
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,241
and then you can read me
the letter, okay?

72
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,977
Yeah, okay, let’s
hit the buffet.

73
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,578
’Kay, come on,
let’s get a quick bite.

74
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,347
Mmm!

75
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,215
Come on, come on!

76
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,253
Buffet, we’re
hitting the buffet.

77
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:18,424
♪

78
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:24,130
(Chinese singing)

79
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:36,576
♪

80
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,311
Get some golden
fried chicken wings.

81
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,414
Okay, but I already have
like a couple on here.

82
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:45,786
I can pack one more, just
because it’s for Canada!

83
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,054
Oh yeah, get the splinters out.

84
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,723
To get the splinters out.

85
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,558
That’s a good style.

86
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,293
So what, should we say grace?

87
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,994
Um...

88
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,298
Let’s say grace.

89
00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,366
Just put the... put the
chopsticks down for a second.

90
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,201
I wanna-- I wanna
challenge you to something.

91
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,004
- Just hear me out.
- Yeah?

92
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,140
Imagine...

93
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,542
being completely at peace.

94
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,911
Can you hold that thought,
and just let me read this?

95
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:11,978
And then what I’m saying is--

96
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,351
- Wha--
- Smile!

97
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:19,786
Smile!

98
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,590
Okay.
(Nervous laughing)

99
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,262
Alright!

100
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,032
- Yeah.
- Hey, thanks a lot!

101
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,501
Okay, good, thank you.

102
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:35,668
(Nervous laughing)

103
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,407
I guess ’cause we look
like a good pair of friends?

104
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:41,841
What?

105
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,577
Why did he have an old camera?

106
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:46,045
It is full-- It is
weird, but you know what?

107
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,247
When you’re on
a weird adventure,

108
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,048
weird things will happen.

109
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,384
It’s-- Maybe it’s
a sign about, like,

110
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,953
us being friends or something?

111
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,754
He pointed at us and he said we
look like good friends, yeah.

112
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,657
I don’t know.

113
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,227
I need full, undivided
attention right now.

114
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,328
Ah, oh, yes.

115
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:02,629
Yeah, yeah.

116
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:03,930
Okay, good.

117
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,433
I’m outta noodles.

118
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,834
Ah!

119
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,004
You know, light is reflecting
off of the bare plate.

120
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,171
Okay, well, let’s just
forget about this for a second.

121
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,473
Yeah, but it’s blinding me!

122
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:14,574
I can’t even get
the plate to the...

123
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:15,842
’Kay, I gotta fill this plate.

124
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,244
I’m gonna start-- Matt, come on!

125
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,012
Dude, you gotta get
more noodles too!

126
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,179
Come on, let’s get
quick noodles--

127
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,614
No, I don’t need
anymore noodles.

128
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,016
I don’t need
anymore noodles, okay?

129
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,451
But I do, so fuck
him and fuck you too.

130
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,154
Eminem. I’ll be back.

131
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,589
Can I read the
first half of this?

132
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,657
Yeah, go ahead.

133
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:31,592
You read it, I’m
gonna be at the buffet.

134
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:32,993
Mmm!

135
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,227
(Smooching)

136
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:41,335
♪

137
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:57,617
♪

138
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:02,689
(Singing in Chinese)

139
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:12,765
♪

140
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:24,511
♪

141
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,012
Bird, what are
you getting there?

142
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,380
Hey! Where were you?

143
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,015
Ah, vegetable spring roll.

144
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,018
Mix it with the plum...

145
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,220
Thank you.

146
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,855
You want some... best fr--

147
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,190
(Laughing)

148
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,257
Look at this!

149
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,660
That’s a weird typo!

150
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,061
What?!

151
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,430
I thought it said
"best fried rice", but...

152
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,798
it’s just a typo.

153
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:46,032
Best friend rice?

154
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,301
What is...

155
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,702
It’s "best fried rice"!

156
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,037
The best friends who
are standing right here?

157
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,107
We’re sitting-- about
to eat it together?

158
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,676
That’s bizarre.

159
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,111
Period, the end.

160
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,114
Let’s go eat.

161
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,382
Let’s go sit down,
and then we’ll--

162
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,117
- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah.

163
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,052
That’s crazy.

164
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,854
Best friend rice.

165
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,425
You know, the Tibetans...

166
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,759
say that...

167
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,027
China.

168
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,563
- When we’re eating...
- Mandarin’s China.

169
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,598
Look, I’m saying this
is a Tibetan story.

170
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:20,233
Or you don’t mention Tibet?

171
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:22,068
I think that China and
Tibet have something going on,

172
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,937
and it’s not... not pretty.

173
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,105
- Anyway...
- You know what I wanna try?

174
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,175
One solid minute of just eating.

175
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,078
- Look...
- Let’s just do--

176
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,780
I would rather if
you could just let me

177
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,148
read you this letter, okay?

178
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,482
Let me just read you
the letter, how ’bout?

179
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,351
You don’t have the courage?

180
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,153
Are you afraid of
what you might find out

181
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,588
in one silent minute
alone with me?

182
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,323
You wanna do one
minute of eating?

183
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,593
One solid minute
of eating, okay?

184
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,362
It’s a polite, sweet,
solid minute of eating.

185
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:52,366
No Jerry Lewis, or the Will
Smith playing with the food.

186
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,600
Nothing, okay?

187
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,034
It’s the food on the sticks--

188
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,403
I mean, it’s a minute
of eating, I have it.

189
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,071
- You understand eating?
- Yes, I understand it!

190
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,406
- Excuse me, could you--
- Just approximate it.

191
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,242
Could you tell us
when one minute is up?

192
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,444
Yes.

193
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,679
Okay, ready?

194
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,515
And go.

195
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:20,026
(Chattering)

196
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,229
Oh, there’s a couple
fighting over there.

197
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,263
Couple’s fighting?

198
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,864
- Yeah.
- What do you mean?

199
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,533
This girl is...

200
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,734
- Laying into him?
- Really mad.

201
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,035
- Ripping him up?
- Yeah.

202
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,971
Tearing him up?
Is she shredding him?

203
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,505
- I don’t know what--
- It’s not in English?

204
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,940
- Oh yeah, it’s not.
- She’s ripping him?

205
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,608
- She’s standing up.
- Is she getting ripped?

206
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,010
I’m gonna look.

207
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,845
I have a mirror in my hat,
I have a mirror in my hat.

208
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,514
Ah fuck, no I don’t.

209
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,817
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

210
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,552
God damn!

211
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:47,620
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

212
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:48,989
Do you-- Could you understand
what they were saying?

213
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,023
They were speaking
Chinese, right?

214
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:51,891
What was it?

215
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,064
Damn!

216
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,800
- Thank you.
- No problem.

217
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,067
Huh!

218
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,471
Thank you, thank you.

219
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,506
Okay.

220
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,408
She said that
he’s too optimistic.

221
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,611
That’s horrifying!

222
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:19,152
(Chattering)

223
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,987
Look at the big fish.

224
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,389
Man, those are big effing fish.

225
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,258
In the-- In that-- In that tank,

226
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,760
which one are you
and which one are me?

227
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,430
I think, well, they’re both--

228
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,298
You can maybe give me
some banal answers,

229
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,400
but I’ll tell you: I think
we’re both the white ones.

230
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:39,139
And I mean that because
we’re white skinned.

231
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,574
It’s as deep as that.

232
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:45,345
People like to talk about
race meaning nothing these days.

233
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:46,979
I think it means
more than it ever has.

234
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,317
Can I actually
read you my letter?

235
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,818
(Laughing)

236
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,356
I was reminded of a funny joke.

237
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,658
It-- It-- May I tell it to you?

238
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,393
Alright, listen.

239
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,828
- Matt?
- Mmm?

240
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,230
I’ve done a lot of thinking.

241
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,232
Yes?

242
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,434
And while this is tough...

243
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:10,070
- Ooh.
- ...to say, I...

244
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,005
Let’s do dessert.

245
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,306
Before dessert.

246
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,440
Let’s do dessert.

247
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,809
How ’bout this?

248
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,177
- I read this now...
- Yep.

249
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,278
...’cause I think it’s
gonna need some processing.

250
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,484
Ah... I need to have dessert.

251
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,853
Oh my god, I’m having a blood
sugar... what’s it called?

252
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,822
The diabetes, it’s got me?

253
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,057
I have to have a Jell-O?

254
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,391
They have Jell-O here?

255
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,393
Yes, man!

256
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,594
’Kay, I’ll tell you what.

257
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:35,929
I’m gonna get one Jell-O.

258
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,630
- Let’s get it, come on.
- First round of dessert.

259
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,965
And then we’re
gonna read the letter.

260
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,467
- And then we’re gonna--
- Yes, okay, okay, Jell-O.

261
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,635
I can do it.

262
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,304
Going for Jell-O.

263
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,141
Oh, these are cute.

264
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,478
Okay, alright, great.

265
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,947
What’d you get?

266
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,215
You ol’ birdie.

267
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,282
Come on, dude.

268
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,385
I got a waffle
with whipped cream,

269
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,154
chocolate creme pie,
cupcake, a kiwi tart,

270
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:04,157
vanilla ice cream, Jell-O
strawberry, Jell-O orange,

271
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,526
and another chocolate
topping I found over there.

272
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,764
Great, okay.

273
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,066
(Chattering)

274
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,968
Oh, I love Jell-O.

275
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,936
- I ate too much.
- What a horr--

276
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,973
- Oh, thank you very much.
- Thank you so much.

277
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,445
Do you eat the cookie first,
or read the fortune first?

278
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,013
I don’t care for the cookie.

279
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,818
It said, "Ships are
the great-- gr--"

280
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:36,689
No, "Ship... Ship is
the greatest treasure."

281
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,525
Ships are the greatest treasure.

282
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:41,528
Yeah, that is your
definition of Chinese,

283
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,396
like not quite getting it right!

284
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,264
(Laughing)

285
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,133
But what’s yours say?

286
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,768
I don’t care, it
doesn’t matter, I don’t--

287
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,770
It’s very bad luck and
insulting to the restaurant.

288
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,104
It’s not bad luck.

289
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,406
It is, you have a
fortune sitting there.

290
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,807
Listen, if I get a fortune,

291
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,476
I’m not superstitious,
but I’m the type of guy--

292
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,811
"Before money and fame, friend."

293
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,016
"Before money and fame, friend."

294
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,653
Oh, wait a second.

295
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,425
Holy (Bleep), look at that.

296
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,927
Look at that.

297
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,061
What does that say?

298
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,599
Four, eight, 15, 16, 23, 42!

299
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,770
That’s Hurley’s numbers
that he wins the lottery on.

300
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:27,073
They’re always saying those
numbers in that crank-ass show!

301
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,574
"Before money and fame,

302
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,411
friendship is the
greatest treasure."

303
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,447
Holy shit.

304
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,385
That’s a sign
from God, isn’t it?

305
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,987
Huh.

306
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,223
Jesus.

307
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:48,361
(Bittersweet music)

308
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,564
(Slowed down) That’s
a sign from - Jesus.

309
00:13:51,597 --> 00:14:01,907
♪

310
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,142
You know what?

311
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:08,181
I would say that was probably
our best Canada Day yet.

312
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:12,885
(Laughing)

313
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,353
Ah!

314
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,655
You wanted to read me a letter.

315
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,825
Yeah, no, forget
about the letter.

316
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,160
What do you mean
forget about the letter?

317
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,262
You been trying to read
it to me this whole time!

318
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,729
Read it, I’m gonna
order another drink.

319
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,798
(Lost musical sting)

320
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,471
♪

321
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,906
You know what?
I’ve been rude.

322
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:35,408
You’ve been trying to
read me this letter, just--

323
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,077
Hey, forget about the letter.
Let’s get outta here.

324
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,078
Let’s go play GoldenEye, huh?

325
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,213
What’d you mean,
forget about the letter?

326
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,381
Complex, pistols,
License to Kill!

327
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,950
No, let’s play -10 health

328
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:45,451
so the body armour
still does something.

329
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,086
Fine.

330
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,622
Read me the letter.

331
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,222
All it was, it
just says, "Great--"

332
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:53,626
Okay, I’ll read it, I’ll read
it, I’ll read it, I’ll read it.

333
00:14:55,628 --> 00:15:00,333
(Chattering)

334
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,802
Matt, um...

335
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,840
Um...

336
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,509
(Clearing throat)

337
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,810
Matt.

338
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,113
Uh...

339
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:19,052
Boy, we’ve certainly had
a lot of fun over the years,

340
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:23,823
and we’ve been on this
incredible journey together,

341
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:27,093
and I almost am afraid
of when it’ll end,

342
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:30,429
because I’m having
so much fun...

343
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,465
on this journey.

344
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:37,269
I’m very happy to go to the
ends of the earth with you.

345
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:40,139
I hope the future brings us...

346
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,708
great fortune.

347
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,546
May it bring us good fortune.

348
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,284
Um...

349
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:52,785
Your friend, Jay.

350
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:58,258
That’s the nicest thing
anyone’s ever written to me.

351
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,394
Well, as I said, I put a lot
of effort into it, so...

352
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:06,265
This is the greatest
Canada Day of my life.

353
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,668
You know, I would
say all in all...

354
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:09,802
Well, hold on.

355
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,871
- I gotta--
- Hold on a second.

356
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,173
Grabbing...
(Laughing)

357
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,843
Yeah, but... that’s my letter.

358
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,811
- You wrote it to me.
- No, not really.

359
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,347
- I want-- Let me have it.
- What are you doing?

360
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,413
You’re taking my letter!
This is special.

361
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,082
Yeah, but I wanna frame it!

362
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,450
Of course it’s special!

363
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,952
You wrote it, and
I’d love to read it.

364
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,786
It’s for me, it’s got
my name on the envelope...

365
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,255
- Hey!
- I’m reading it.

366
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:30,956
No.

367
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,625
No, no, no.

368
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,160
You’re embarrassing
yourself right now.

369
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,628
Come on, let it go.

370
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:36,962
- No, now you’re--
- Let the letter go.

371
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,464
We’re just gonna sit down,
and we’re gonna just--

372
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,999
I’ll tell you what,
tell you what.

373
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,300
We’ll both let go at
the exact same time.

374
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,836
BOTH: One, two, three.

375
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,471
Jay, let go.

376
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,973
Get out of here, you’re
just embarrassing yourself!

377
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,641
(Glass shattering)

378
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,742
Okay, okay.

379
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:54,380
We’re just gonna quickly
let it go, okay?

380
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:56,682
Okay, happy Canada Day.

381
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,352
(Panting)

382
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:04,156
(Laughing)

383
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,591
I feel so...

384
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,927
(Laughing)

385
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,764
♪

386
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:13,265
Oh my god.

387
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,667
Sorry!
(Laughing)

388
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,202
Sorry.

389
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,072
- No, we’re okay!
- Sorry, sorry.

390
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,676
Okay, yeah, we will.

391
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,311
I don’t even remember
what we were fighting about.

392
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,012
- We’re sorry, sorry.
- It was the letter.

393
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,548
- Right, give me that.
- No!

394
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,516
Give me the letter,
give it to me!

395
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,052
You’re gonna get
this guy mad, dude.

396
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,352
Okay, okay.

397
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,420
We’re fine.

398
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:37,890
Thank you, bye!

399
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,626
Sorry!

400
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,561
Sorry, sorry, sorry!

401
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,799
Whoa!

402
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:47,466
Sorry!

403
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:57,543
♪

404
00:17:57,543 --> 00:18:09,655
♪

405
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:18,831
(Bittersweet music)

406
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:27,072
♪

407
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,008
Well, I wanted to
read you this letter.

408
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,477
Let’s get a plate of food, and
then you can read me the letter.

409
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,045
Yeah, okay, let’s
hit the buffet.

410
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,380
Get some golden
fried chicken wings.

411
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:37,016
Okay, but I already have
like a couple on here.

412
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:41,554
I can pack one more, just
because it’s for Canada!

413
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:51,630
♪

414
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:58,972
♪

415
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:01,040
Where’s... Matt?

416
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:04,043
♪

417
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,878
Excuse me, would
you do me a favour?

418
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,714
This is gonna sound very weird,
but my friend and I are sitting

419
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,283
at a table over there...

420
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,186
- Okay.
- Right.

421
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:23,496
♪

422
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:24,630
Bird, what are
you getting there?

423
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,865
Hey! Where were you?

424
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,299
Ah, vegetable spring roll.

425
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:31,971
♪

426
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,806
(Camera snapping)

427
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:44,950
♪

428
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,087
Just go and give it to
that table over there.

429
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,823
♪

430
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,125
Would you mind reading this

431
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,926
when this couple is
gonna get in a fight?

432
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:04,670
♪

433
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,873
One last chance.

434
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,875
I got one more
trick up my sleeve!

435
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:12,245
(Cheering)

436
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,180
Is it possible to
make a fortune cookie

437
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,048
with my own little
message in it?

438
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,383
Really?

439
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:23,589
(Fireworks exploding)

440
00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:26,091
Holy (Bleep), look at that.

441
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,293
Look at that.

442
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,930
"Before money and fame,

443
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,999
friendship is the
greatest treasure."

444
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:44,076
♪

445
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:51,850
♪

446
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:56,722
(Cheerful music)

447
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,692
(GoldenEye music playing)

448
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,494
No radar.

449
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:05,998
(GoldenEye music playing)

450
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:13,672
(Clicking sounds)

451
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,080
This is for everything, right?

452
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,481
This is for everything.

453
00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:24,450
This is-- This is for
everything, right?

454
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:27,520
Right?

455
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:29,354
- Right.
- Right?

456
00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,857
(GoldenEye music playing)

457
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,125
Okay.

458
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:36,029
It’s not for everything.

459
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:37,229
Well, what is it?

460
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,464
Is it for everything
or not for everything?

461
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:39,465
You don’t wanna make
it for everything.

462
00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:41,033
This one’s for everything.

463
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,535
(Gunshots)

464
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,004
Oh yeah.

465
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:46,505
(Gunshots)
Bitch.

466
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:48,107
I’ll re-up on the body armour.

467
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:49,942
Ah, ’cause you’re
a little bitch.

468
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:51,777
A body armour bitch!
B-B-B-B-B!

469
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:52,979
Wanna make this everything?

470
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,413
Ah, you wanna make this
for everything, huh?

471
00:21:54,446 --> 00:21:55,614
You wanna run at me?

472
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,250
You wanna run me, huh, bitch?!

473
00:21:57,283 --> 00:21:58,718
I’m getting some more
body armour, bitch.

474
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,753
Oh, fucker!

475
00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:02,788
If there’s one thing
GoldenEye taught me,

476
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,158
it’s that you want a gun.

477
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,293
- Oh, you want a gun.
- You just want a gun.

478
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,727
You know what’d be awesome?

479
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,496
- If we...
- Ah, I saw your hand!

480
00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:11,530
Fuck!

481
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:20,572
♪


